Oh Kibi

Ok So i thought i was going to die today - This happens from time to time when i over think things and get totally manic over the mere possibility of something happening

I cried for about 2 hours, cried cause i felt like a useless human being and cried because i am just a dreamer who never sees anything through. man did i cry. I even wanted to die! For that time while i cried i thought that the pain of slitting my wrists would be a fine reason for not going to India and not then having to admit that the real reason i wasnt goint was because i had infact missplaced my passport. And had lost hope in finding it!

So melodramatic, I know!

Now that i think about it - i dont think i wanted to die die. but i just didnt want to be around for this part of my life. i didnt want to be here for the realization of this possibility.
So instead of actually getting off my ass and looking for it - I lay there and cried my heart out. well that was not before ironing a entire basket of clothes (did i mention that in addition to being indecisive I am quite the procrastinator)
Two hours into my state of collapse my husband walked into the room and saved me, like he often does. He then proceeded to look for and find my passport :)
Now im going to India again. applying for my VISA on Wednesday and flippen packing my bags already! cant wait!I am Alive Again!! (He is rolling his eyes as he reads this)

He says that i will never get my life in order because i was never meant to do it alone. He says I am the visionary of the family and he is the operator... hmm... Makes Sense!